I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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