never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
