New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
