Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
