Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
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