my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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