I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
