She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
