# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
