so explain again why im purple
no
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
