in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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