Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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