please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
