Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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