And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
