Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
