They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
