how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Can vaginas get frostbite?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
