I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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