The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
