On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
