At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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