Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
