Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
