She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
love makes seman taste better
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
