you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
