I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
