I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
