Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Alive.
So much puke
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
