Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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