Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
