So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
