somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
