so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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