Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
