He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
