So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
