Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
