it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
