Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
