Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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