Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
4 words: hood of his car
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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