Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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