Ambien. No doubt about it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
