Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
