i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
