So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My dad just said "fuck circus"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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