Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
