can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
