You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
