He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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