everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
